selfsih bitch

By calling u a selfish bastard i'm also makin myself a selfish bitch...while i can rant n rant bout not havin u...if u ever came back...it prob won b bcuz u reli lk me...it'll prob b bcuz u feel sorry for me...n then by bein wit me u will b the 1 that is not happy...u won get ur freedom...u won get to go dota so often...well...its juz that,comparing wat u'll b feelin if u don get ur way n wat i'll b feelin if i don get my way,mine juz seems far worse...while u can still go n play dota wit ur frens once in awhile n b wit me...i cant don feel hurt once in awhile n not b wit u...bcuz not bein wit u will automatically throw me back into the sea of sadness n depression...n i tried...i tried to get on wit my life...i tried for 5 months...nothing seems to b workin...i've tried spendin time wit u as a fren but it juz makes me feel lk we're together again n thats juz wrong bcuz that's not wat i'm suppose to b doin eventho i lk it...i've tried cryin n cryin till i cant cry over u anymore but the tears juz won stop...i've tried talkin bout it to my frens so many times but i still feel so very hurt n sad...i've tried keepin my mind distracted but each time i relax a lil i'll think of u again n get depressed...each time i c u i juz feel sad that i cant hv u...aaargh...y is life so unfair from my angle...haih...*sob*...big girls don cry...big girls don cry...don cry...