Starstruck

Ok, I actually have no idea what to write. I just didn't want the first post that shows up on my blog to be so negative. (Came up with title after typing the whole post) I haven't been doing much lately. Just studying and browsing on eBay and the sort. I suppose I was a little starstruck this week. Not anything major, just minor things which made me happy.

I managed to get myself a dress from Chessie. In fact it was just this morning. =D She was having her Spring sales and I snagged a dress from Cheesie!!! Weee!!! I really do admire her. She's a fellow Malaysian that is determinedly fashionable. I don't agree 100% with what she wears. I mean I don't think anyone ever likes every single thing their fashion icon wears after all. But I like her style most of the time. The point is though, that she dares to dress differently in Malaysia. Not that anyone is going to shoot you down for dressing out of the norm, but its just that I know some people tend to stare or have preconceived notions. Like boots are for hookers, people with lightly dyed hair are "lala" and ridiculous things like that. I also really like the way she writes. It's nothing fanciful but its funny and nice to read! Unlike mine. Plus she's super awesome at make up and hair!!! Learned the cat ears hairstyle from her. It's really cute!!! So anyway, I emailed her about the dress I wanted to buy and she replied! Obviously. As I said, it's nothing major, it's just...Cheesie replied my email!!! =DDDDD


Next, I'm gonna talk about another pretty Malaysian girl, Careen Tan. You might know her as the girl who won Adidas Neo Ambassador competition, or the girl in the Only In Malaysia short by JinnyBoyTV that has gone viral. I don't really know her at all. I just randomly saw her pic while I was googling for PC Fair info and thought that she was really pretty even though she wasn't wearing those fancy costumes and was just in a normal bright green shirt. I can't remember how I stumbled upon her blog, but well I did and have been stalking reading it when I have the time. She's is soooooo pretty. She embodies everything I want in life. Of course she has her own set of problems and no one's life is perfect, but it does seem like it from the outside. So, I complimented her in reply to one of her tweet pics and she replied with a "Thanx babe!". I was literally grinning ear to ear. I think my bf has gotten bored of hearing about her from me. He actually has her as a friend on Fb because he took her pic once in PC Fair and so added her to tag her. Back then she didn't have her fan page so she added strangers into her personal account so that she could get tagged. Unfair!!! I'm only her fan on her fan page! Plus he has seen her at events a few times!!! Hmph!!!

Finally, it's a reply from a Dramione (Draco + Hermione) fanfiction author. If you don't know, I am in love with the idea of Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger being together. If you don't know who they are, I think you should reconsider your social life. 

HAVE YOU NOT WATCHED HARRY POTTER?!?! 

*calms self down* I am a HUGE Harry Potter fan and so still read fanfiction, but only of the dramione kind. Their stories are so full of passion and angst. So there's this awesome awesome author called Bex-chan, and it was her birthday and so I wished her Happy Birthday and she replied in thanks! Ya ya, nothing major again. But I got a reply from her!!! She must have had thousands of wishes and she still replied me!!! Hehehe!!!

Ya, so that's why I'm starstruck this week. The one thing that could make my entire year starstruck would be to meet Tom Felton (actor of Draco Malfoy). In fact, I don't need to meet him. Just a reply tweet from him would have me on cloud nine for weeks! *fingers crossed!*

Ramblings

I don't know if it is appropriate to wallow in self-pity and worthlessness here. I'm not looking for sympathy, merely to vomit out what I feel onto some platform, in the hopes of alleviating this feeling.


Sometimes, I feel so under-accomplished. I am turning 24 this year. Omg, so old. Two dozen years on this planet, and what have I done? Nothing worth noting, that's for sure. I haven't secured a degree under my belt, have not earned a single dime, and have not achieved any of my dreams (shallow as they may be). My bf psychoanalyzed me the other day, and told me that I am easily influenced by my surroundings and I try too hard to fit into the norm. All around me, I see my friends reaching the end point in their training, while I have yet to begin. Some have set up blogshops and whatnot, generating income even before they graduate. Some have part-time jobs and are really great at it. Some are engaged/married and set to face the future together.

I dream. I dream a lot. I wanted to have an eBay store, to sell my second hand clothes. But that's not really a practical dream, is it? I'm not exactly the most fashionable person, plus I rarely shop at high street stores. I wanted to become a model. Again, not realistic. I don't have a clear complexion, can't put on foundation properly, not tall enough, plus I don't have the exact body for it (even if I like to think so sometimes). I wanted to be a singer, but I can't sing to save my life. I wanted to have a famous blog, but am not nearly interesting enough nor do I update often enough. I wanted to be an air stewardess, but well my parents and bf were kind of against it, since I will be away for too long. See how unrealistic I am?


I acknowledge that my dreams are shallow. You might think, what about being a successful pharmacist? Isn't that supposed to be your main goal in life? You are soon to be achieving that after all. The practical and boring goal, yes. Not that I don't enjoy working as one, because I do. But it's not what I really REALLY like. You know what I mean? It's the job that gets money in, not the job you've always dreamed of having since you were a kid. Sure, every job has their perks and disadvantages, but I still yearn for it. I'm jealous, oh so jealous of people working as what I've always wanted to be. Of people who have the freedom and ability to do what they like.


I've always wanted to be known. Maybe it stems from how insignificant I felt back in the early days of high school. I hated my first year in high school. I hardly knew anyone in class, and the popular kids made fun of me. So perhaps that formed the thought that popular people wield the power. Or maybe I'm just naturally an attention seeker. But anyway, the point is that I want to be known, in a good way. That is my ultimate shallow goal. But who's going to know me by being a pharmacist? You don't go around telling people:

"OMG!!! Do you know this pharmacist? She is THE BEST!!! You just have to get your medication from her because she is (lists good pharmacist's qualities)!!!"

You don't, do you? No one cares about pharmacists. It's not like doctors, where patients will tell their friends/family about this awesome doctor who was so patient and understanding and accurate and other excellent doctor qualities. I can't even be known in my professional field. Wtf.

Some people have told me that I am unerringly positive. Well, here you go. I'm not positive all the time. I have bouts of self-pity and whatnot.


I don't know what is the point of this blogpost. I'm sorry if you wasted 5 minutes of your life reading this. Not really. Bye!

*p.s. On a brighter note, I'm getting my eyebrows done at Benefit after my exam!!! I've never actually specifically been to do my brows before. It was only when I did make overs for proms. So yay! Excited!!!

Truth

It's been ages since I've typed a blog post. I know. Almost 9 months ago. But to my friends who just wanted to be kept updated with my life, well, I've been tweeting and pushing it to Facebook as well as placed it on top of my blog. So I guess you can't complain? Haha. However, if you really want to know what's happening in my life (and not what I had for dinner), I'll tell you now.

The most significant thing is that I have not graduated. Yes, you read it correctly. The truth is out. I'm still a student. If I have told you that I am working, well, I'm not lying either. I'm working for experience. I have not started my pre-registration placement, but am working at the pharmacy that is going to sponsor me. My final exam is on the 4th of May. Just one final paper separating me from my pharmacy degree certificate. I'll not bore you with the story of why and how I'm still a student. All you have to know is that I'll graduate this June. Yes, I WILL. No more screw ups. Not in terms of this anyway.

Why did I only decide to tell it now? Well, let's just say that I have finally come to terms with the situation. I'm not exactly ashamed of failing. I didn't mind telling people about it, even right at the start. I didn't have a problem accepting this failure. I just didn't fancy the things people would say behind my back, or the pitying looks they might give me. So I kept the truth to a select bunch of people. Don't take it personally if I didn't tell you. It might have just been because it was easier to say "Yes, I am working" than to say "Yes, I am working, but I haven't graduated because...", especially if you don't know anything about registering as a pharmacist. After explaining over and over again, I'm bound to get tired of explaining. So please don't hold me to it. I have finally decided that I don't particularly care what others think about me. As long as those that are close to my heart supports me, I'll be fine.

That's all I really have to say at this moment. I'll leave you with my latest cam whore pic. =)